If you and your spouse are having trouble reaching an agreement, you should consider mediation.  A mediator specializes in helping people reach an agreement that is fair and will last. The sessions are confidential.  A mediator's role may be limited to custody. You may also ask to cover other issues such as marital property if you choose. Mediation is not appropriate in cases where there is a genuine issue of physical or sexual abuse of the child or one of the parties. It is also important to get a legal advisor for this process. The mediator's role is not to take sides, but to bring the two sides together. Additionally, if the mediator is not an attorney, he/she may be unaware of some specific legal issues.